he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
