sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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