how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
