R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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