Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
