This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize