I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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