just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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