I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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