I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
