he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
