Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
