I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
