I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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