do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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