she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
