Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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