No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
