How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
