I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
