Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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