Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
