it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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