i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
