Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
