I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Idk if I want to put a bra on
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
