Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
