ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
