i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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