my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
