I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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