Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
