The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
