i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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