I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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