Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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