Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
