So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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