she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
