my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize