So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
