her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
