i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
