Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
