K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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