Got a toothbrush?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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