We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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