i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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