He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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