he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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