Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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