So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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