i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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