Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
