the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
