Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
