Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
