I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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