Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i think my cat just said my name.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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