I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
